Closing doors
by The cursed child
Summary: Four months later, they have their badges back. For their first day back however, Ziva is nowhere in sight.


**A/N After reading that Cote will be leaving the show this came to mind. You will be missed! A tribute to the amazing work she has done as Ziva David. **

They stand by Vance's desk, lined up next to each other, Gibbs half a step in front of them. The best agents the director has ever seen present an united front. Tony, Tim and Ziva stand tall and proud behind their boss.

The case has been closed. Their targets are dead. Blood has been spilled. Eyes have darkened. More bodies have been added to their name. The list has grown longer with every bullet. This assigment was death itself on paper.

The files have already been blackened by permanent marker. Their names and the identities of everyone else in it have been as good as erased, like they never existed in the first place. Cover stories are in place, citizens all over the world ignorant of the danger that could have destroyed them.

Vance looks at them, takes in their confident postures. He doesn't know what they have been doing. The boss only knows that he doesn't want to know. Some things are better left unsaid. He doesn't need the darkness that clings to them like licking shadows.

He openes his desk drawer. Three badges lay inside. They look no different than they did four months ago. He grabs them and spreads them out on the wooden surface, places their service weapons next to them.

He knows that they are already armed by unmarked weapons, a result of the trials that hardened them during their time as American assassins. Really, that's the only definition he can appoint to this.

His agents look at Gibbs, because they'll always be _his_ first, and reach for the shining plates. Their team leader can't see them, locked in a staring contest with his own memories. A marine bleeding to death on the floor. His rifle aimed at Fornell's heart. Tim seconds away from letting the darkness in his heart win, his mind filled with images of a tortured Sarah Mcgee, recovering in the hospital.

It's the director that sees the hesitation in Ziva's action. She hesitates too long, grabs the badge faster too compensate for it.

DiNozzo and McGee clutch the things, like they need the reassurance that they are agents again. Miss David simply attaches it to her belt and doesn't acknowledge it again. She has no attachment to material things, except for the one picture of her and her siblings, both deceased.

"Take the weekend off and come back bright and early on Monday morning," he orders. His own voice sounds far away. He is occupied by the strange behavior of Gibbs' female agent.

They leave, and he banishes the moment out off his mind. Leon packs his briefcase and smiles. He has a whole weekend alone with the kids. A trip to the zoo and a day at the beach will be perfect for his over-worked body and spirit.

Gibbs doesn't bother going home. He takes a seat in the familiar chair and boots up his computer, ready for some normalcy to return to his life.

McGee calls Delilah, his girlfriend, and tells her to get ready for a romantic dinner. He has a huge smile on his face as she tells him: "I love you," and hangs up.

Tony throws a grin at Ziva. She smiles at her partner, the first genuine smile of the day, and takes his hand. He ruffles her hair, making her laugh. They depart together in the elevator.

When they arrive Monday morning at the bullpen, Ziva's lack of presence is glaringly obvious. Tony wastes no time calling her, pressing the number one button on his speeddial.

The phone is disconnected. Tim, who starts to panick as well, attempts to trace the phone with no luck. The incomplete team rushes to her apartment, to find it empty of life and furniture, her car also gone.

The only thing they do find is a note.

_I cannot say how sorry I am. As you will no doubt find out, I booked a plane ticket to Israel to pay my last respects to my father and visit his and Tali's graves. _

_I have cleared out my bank accounts and Tony will tell you that I have converted the money into diamonds and have since tumbled off the grid._

_I stayed at NCIS to settle down, to find peace. I did for a while, but life intervened. _

_This last mission was too much like my work with Mossad, and I can no longer take it. I have spilled far too much blood, and it is time to stop._

_I know that this does not necessate my abrupt department. I could stay with you, but it is time to close that door._

_More enemies have piled up after I killed Ilan. Orli has assured me she's doing everything she can, but her own people still distrust her, and would like to have seen him take her place. There is a price on my head that is higher than the one Hamas put on hers._

_I have not told you this earlier, but I fear they might go after you to find me now. Stay safe, I'll keep an eye out for you whenever I can._

_I am tired of looking over my shoulder. Sick of the loss.I need to be able to sleep again. _

_There is no-one I will miss more than you._

_All my love,_

_Ziva_

They sit in silence on the cement floor for a while. Three grown men lost in thought.

The apartment still smells like her. They have all been here often enough in the past four months. Ziva never wasted a day putting a home-cooked meal on the table. It was really staring to feel like yet another home.

Eventually they get up in an attempt to find her, but know it's hopeless. Ziva knows exactly how to disappear.

Every electronic device she has ever owned is gone. They trace her car to a dealer near her block. Her bank accounts have been drained off every penny. The last transfer was Friday evening, when she payed for the ticket that allowed her to fly to Israel at midnight, just after Tony left.

She didn't hand in her resignation, didn't cancel any appointments that could have warned them. Ziva could be anywhere in the world by now. Her language skills allowed her to blend in pretty much everywhere, probably a big city with thousands of nameless faces.

A new case turns up, and they put the search for their missing agent/friend/maybe-more on hold.

Tony isn't sure whether it is a movie-quote or something he made up, but he can't get the words out off his head.

The funny thing about doors is that after they have been closed, they can be re-opened.

He's going to kick this one down.

**A/N They sure as **** better not kill her, she deserves more than that!**


End file.
